Once Upon a Story

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Cinderella : When life gives you lemons..

Cinderella's stepmom and step-sisters were cruel to her. They took away all her good things and made her work like a maid. She got leftovers to eat and tattered clothes to wear. She was young pretty and nearly sixteen. Any guy she had a crush on, her stepsisters would nick away, just to spite her. Though they were older and uglier, they were richer. Cindy got fed up of being pushed in a corner and decided that she would get her own back someday.

Her time came when the King announced a local ball in the honour of his son the Prince Charming. She knew she wasnt going to get to go along with her family. She sneaked out of the house on the day of the ball and broke into the local haberdashers. She picked out a nice gown, a pair of glass slippers and some accessories. She put on the fine clothes and slipped out where her friend, the coachman's son was waiting for her with the coach of a rich landlord borrowed for the night.

Cindy made a stylish entry into the ball. Her stepma couldnt figure out who she was because she spoke french.. Being the fresh face on the block, she was a huge hit. The PC spied her and took her for a spin. When they stepped out into the moonlit night, the coachie signalled at her. "We gotta go, the owner of the Coach is also at the ball, if he sees his spare Coach here, hell will break loose" he whispered. Cindy looked at the Prince and smiled and then turned and ran.

The PC just wanted to make out with the pretty girl, but he had never been ditched. So he was determined to hunt her out, convinced that she was some elusive fairy queen. He found her glass slipper a little way off, and launched a hunt for her. The slipper was Maonolo Blahnik Glass from last year so no fashionable lady wanted to put it on. But Cindy, who wanted to claim the slipper so she could return it to the haberdasher she had 'lifted' it from, put it on.

To her huge surprise, the PC went down on one knee and proposed to her. She wasnt going to pass up the opportunity, so she accepted. Now she had to explain the pretty dress and coach. There was only one way to do that, invent a fairy godmother, the 12 O' Clock condition, as she remembered that the clock had struck 12 right when she had run from the ball.

This, folks, explains why the glass slippers did not vanish with the rest of the dress at the middle of the night.

Sleeping Beauty : cleaniness is not godliness..

SB's parents were not good housekeepers. Their garden and the adjoining forest was often run over by weeds and wilderness while the family slept away merrily. Their kingdom was not well known. They loved taking frequent naps. By some good chance it never marred the looks of their darling daughter. With the result that even now women believe that sleep will make them look beautiful.

However, as they napped a handsome prince from far far away lost his way and wandered up to the castle. He was surprised to see the entire castle snoring merrily. He wandered from room to room till he came to the boudoir of Beauty, sleeping. He was overcome with wonder and leant down to kiss her. Beauty thought it was her nurse waking her up for the evening soup. She woke up and beheld a handsome prince muttering sweet nothings into her ear. In the confusion that ensued, the entire castle cooked up the story of the spell and hundred years to explain away their tardiness.

Rapunzel : Hair today, gone tomorrow

Rapunzel liked her hair dressed by this particular hairdresser in Paris, Pierre. She would allow no one else to touch her lovely golden locks. Unfortunately Pierre was struck by lightening when peeing in the rain by the side of the road. Rapunzel would not listen to reason and let her hair grow wild and untamed. It became quite stinky and lice infested too. The king was shocked by his intractable daughter and cast her into the high tower for a week as a punishment.

Her nurse took to climbing stealthily ino the tower by climbing Rapunzel's hair. A passing Prince espied this and fancied the captive princess. He cut down the hapless nurse and carried Rapunzel away to Paris. Rapunzel was glad to go off to Paris with the rich and handsome Prince, and let him believe for the rest of his life that he had saved her from a wicked witch.

PS : She found a new hairdresser, Pierre's brother, who was better.


Red Riding Hood : Trick or Treat


Red's mom was particular about where she went. Red had to keep her mum informed about her every move. That made it very hard for her see her boyfriend, William Wolfe. As girls will do under such circumstances, she took every opportunity to sneak away for a nookie. When her mother wanted some cakes and stuff delivered to Old Mrs. Hood, Red volunteered to go. She met up with Wolfe on the way and asked him to meet her at her grandma's cottage. Red figured her old and infirm grandma wouldnt notice if she made out with Wolfe at her place. But the old biddy was quite sharp and put up a fight when Wolfe tried to lock her in a cupboard.

A passing woodcutter heard the commotion. Wolfe had to face rap for harrasment. Red took one look at the good looking woodcutter and screamed harrasement too.


The Frog Prince: a short story

The story starts backwards. One night the Prince overslept in the boudoir of the Princess. The queen, her maids were all startled to see the handsome Prince there. They looked horrified. The Princess quickly told them about the ball that had fallen into the well, the frog and the condition it had put. The Princess was an only daughter and her father was a rich King. The Prince was happy to marry her, though he had endure being called the Frog Prince to his dying day.